The Average Wedding

According to one of my wonderful thick-as-a-textbook wedding magazines:

"The average wedding in the United States costs $22,000."

And the average meal for an entire city in Africa costs...

That's an average, folks. That means a lot of people spend a lot more than $22,000 on one day of their life. Let's put this is perspective.

• We know more than a few people who don't make much more than this in one year.
• One year's tuition at Drake, and all the knowledge I got out of that.
• The average studly, brand new, souped up car... costs less than the "average" wedding.
• A really good day on Jeopardy usually nets less than this amount.
• Think what your 401K would look like in 40 years if you invested half of that sum!

This list is cynical and completely outside the happy lines of the wedding psyche, however, it needed to be written. It would be hard to justify spending so much on a wedding, and yet that's the average. As Gavin said, unless he can drive the wedding reception to work every day for a year, that seems a bit much to spend.

Hopefully Hollywood's serial brides are the culprits and their several gajillion dollar weddings are dragging that number into the stratosphere!

How did they plan back in the day?

We have spent more time on The Knot in the past week than we will ever admit. Think about your life when you discovered Facebook or My Space. Yep, it's THAT bad.

Just when you're about to finally search for what you originally visited the site for, you are fortunate enough to spot yet another enticing headline linking to an article you had no idea you needed to see before that instant. Topics covered include:

• How to save money on a wedding. i.e. avoid making the bride's parents mortgage their house to pay for the reception.
• "Hot" trends in all things wedding related.
• Top 10 (insert umpteenth wedding ingredient here) ideas for weddings.
• Where, in your own community that you thought you knew so well, you can find a business that offers both ice sculptures AND chocolate fountains. Aka, the coolest business in your community that you don't know about.

Perhaps weddings cost more now because of the Internet and its overload of temptations and resources, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you Mr. Tim Berners-Lee. You are officially invited to our wedding.

What’s in a reaction?

Half the fun of being newly engaged is telling people you know that you’re engaged and seeing their reactions. The other half is anticipating how much you’re going to get to bed around your favorite person in the near future.

Sharing an announcement like an engagement is one of the few times you see how selfless people can be in their joy for others, and how much people love weddings and the planning of them. The reactions we have gotten when we tell people have been hilarious, fun, exciting and flattering. There’s a clarity that comes with such a new twist in life that causes you to remember every reaction you get in detail – the expression, inflection, phrasing, body language and situation. So many positive reactions reaffirm how much we love our family and friends because we see how excited people are for us and our happiness. The selfless responses and initial pure excitement make this one of the most fun, happiest periods in your life, and also help a couple realize internally what a great decision they have made.

Of the many reactions we have heard over the past 10 days, two of our unforgettable favorites are below:

“We talked about how you two are both great people independent of your relationship and that you are great within your relationship. As someone who has known you guys since day one of your thing, I’ve never seen either one of you not completely nuts about the other. You gotta be the best couple I know.”
– Mikey K.

“You’ll love being married. Most fun I’ve ever had.”
– Mike Lovell (former MDP co-worker)

Since so many of our closest friends live in other cities and crazy Asian cities right now, we also got to see what excited, stream-of-conscious, pure excitement looks like in print. It’s just as fun as in person reactions:

“AHHHHHHHHHHH! Congratulations! Holy Cow! That's so amazing! Wow! Whoa – I'm like bowled over. This is so fantastic for you both.” …and it went on.
– Katie Imbeau

It figures that these are some of the most talented writers we will ever know...

A Wise Word for Lovers

For anyone thinking about getting engaged, now or down the road, here's your official warning:

The first question you will be asked by EVERYONE you tell you're engaged is some variation of, "When's the big day?"

This isn't a bad question, just something we weren't expecting to hear so often and so quickly.

In most cases, like ours, you'll have no idea when you're getting married - you're still giddy over the fact that you're even engaged! I thought the big question would be "How did he do it?" Nope.

So come up with a good response to keep in your pocket and pull back out repeatedly for the weeks following the engagement when you tell people. Some will apologize for the question, some will squeal before asking it (or high-five you or hug you or shake the boy's hand or say "holy shit!" or "holy cow!" or "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!"), but they WILL ask by the end of the conversation.

You've all been warned.

And feel free to keep asking the aforementioned question!

"It's the birth of a family."

Our parents got together at my (Laura's) house on Thursday to toast our engagement with champagne. (It would have been on Wednesday, but Gavin had to go out of town for business!) Hugs and congratulations all around. I think both sets of parents had been anxiously waiting for this announcement for months!

Having everyone together and excited was wonderful. We'll have to do it again on a weekend when Paul and Colleen can be in Glen Ellyn as well. Mark joined us for the toast, and my Mom was even able to have a small sip!

My Dad made a toast he has had prepared for a long time. (He told me Tuesday night he already knew what he was going to say!) The gist: That there's a special bond between a father and daughter, and that ever since I was little - Indian Princess-age - he wanted the best for me. When Gavin came along there was hope. (laughter) He thinks of Gavin like a son, knows that I am getting the best and told us he's excited for us and he loves us. Mom helped him a little at the end. :)

Gavin's Dad also made a toast, telling us how happy he is that things led to this point and recollecting the beginning of our relationship in high school.

One last toast (the champagne was flowing!). Gavin's Mom pointed out that she realized when Colleen was married a few years ago, that an engagement, "really, is the birth of a family," and that marriage is cyclical in all families. It was one of those obvious points that you never really process until you hear it out loud.

When the toasting was over, the mothers went back to planning the wedding - without us. haha. I'm so glad they're so excited! They're definitely ahead of us in their thinking so far, however.

Details, date, etc. are all still TBD!

Spread the word...

After the proposal, we walked around the park a little more, grinning like Cheshire cats with a secret. One other couple saw us in the moment and the woman shouted congratulations to us... and then elbowed her date hard in the ribs. We were hoping to take another picture, but couldn't find a good candidate to hand off the camera to and couldn't calm down enough to find a good spot for another self-portrait before having to leave.

We grabbed a cab and flew to the train station. Luckily, we were able to find an empty seat for ourselves, but the 45-minute ride home was still torture. We were way too giddy for the quiet train. The second the train hit Glen Ellyn we were back in grinning "oh my God" mode again.

First stop, Laura's house at 10:45 p.m., where Mom and Dad were waiting up. Gavin had called and asked my Dad's permission that morning, so they knew waiting up was worth it. Mark came down to congratulate us and Paul and Caeli had been tipped-off up in Madison. We spoke with them on the phone.

Then we zoomed over to Gavin's house, where his parents were also waiting up, also fully dressed, also expecting the announcement even though Gavin hadn't told them his plan for the evening. Sometimes parents intuition can be so creepily spot-on! Hugs all around and more excitement. We tried to get Colleen on the phone that night to tell her, but couldn't reach her. Instead, Gavin stopped by Colleen's classroom the next day to share the news - while the kids were in the middle of a science test. He pulled her into the hallway and got the reaction he hoped for - she was very excited! Colleen introduced Gavin to her class and told them he had just gotten engaged. They clapped for him.

The ring is white gold with a gorgeous solitary sparkler. Gavin, knowing me and what I think a diamond should look like, picked the one with the most sparkle at the store. (Side note on the store: He bought my ring at the same place my grandparents (Mom's side). Mom and Dad and Aunt Mary and Uncle Tom bought their engagement rings and wedding bands.)

We're Engaged!

Confirming what many of you knew was coming for the past five-and-a-half years, Gavin and Laura are officially engaged and are SO excited! The scenario jokes about all the things that would be "hilarious" to do for our wedding are running rampant - that's just our style.

Gavin popped the question perfectly with the perfect ring on Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2006 - Valentine's Day - and actually managed to catch Laura completely by surprise!

THE TALE:

We went out downtown after work for Valentine's Day. Dinner was at Gioco in the south Loop, a classy Italian spot dolled up to look like a stucco building in Tuscany, but actually situated on south Wabash. The restaurant was by Gavin's Grandma Halcie's apartment on Michigan Avenue, so we decided to stop in on her, bring her flowers and enjoy the amazing view from her apartment. She lives right by the museum campus, so when we left, Gavin suggested we take a walk to the Shedd Aquarium or Millennium Park. I figured he would NEVER walk out to the Shedd with her because it's so inconvenient, so I suggested Millennium Park. We strolled up Michigan Ave. to Millennium Park and walked around a little before plopping down on a bench and watching the skaters. (Our favorite skater was a little boy bundled-up in blue with a white helmet on. He only skated against the flow of the other skaters - diagonally. He was quick too. Thanks to that kid, we saw a lot of hilarious wipe outs and near misses!)

We were having a really great time. Gavin was so relaxed and normal - and not checking his pocket every couple minutes - that in my head I decided, "tonight isn't the night," and was completely ok with it.

He asked if I wanted to walk around some more and take some pictures with my new camera. He knows me too well. Of course I wanted to! I took some pictures and decided we had to take our picture. We figured out the self-timer option and put the camera on a ledge by The Bean (the big reflecting statue, actually called Cloudgate). I wasn't tall enough to see around the back of the camera to set up the shot, so Gavin told me to go pose, that he would set it up. He took awhile, and I thought nothing of it except that I was getting cold. Finally, Gavin told me to stand on the steps. He pressed the button and walked over to me. I am (of course) looking at the camera to see if it's working when he gets down on one knee and pops the question - just in time for the camera to take our picture in the famous pose. We have a picture of the moment we got engaged! I'm blurry, however, because I couldn't stay still. Gavin claims I must have been nodding my head in response. I was caught completely off guard, but couldn't have been more excited. Of course, I said yes!

He didn't have a plan because he knew if he tried to lead me somewhere at a certain time, I'd either know what was happening or give him trouble. At least he has me figured out already! The proposal was all impromptu playing on what he knows I like and like to do. Perfecto! And the ring couldn't be more gorgeous.