Muddy Waters on The Knot Boards

Written Dec. 18, and not posted until Feb. 13 for reasons you'll understand below!

Planet Sick of Wedding Planning. Population: Me.

Avoid using the woman we did for invites if you'll ever need wedding invitations down the road. Ask me for her name so that you can steer clear! I'm not going to include it here because she'll probably find this post and threaten me like she did after I posted questions and a complaint about her services on The Knot boards. Apparently, those boards are actually a big deal and are crawling with wedding vendors checking out what is said about them. Craaazyyy, although, I suppose understandable. Unexpected all the same.

There were quite a few errors on the proof that I, the perfectionist editor, felt should have been caught before sending us a "final" version. It is a beautiful invite, but I'd like to see the text centered, typos corrected, etc when it arrives as a "final." Another proof costs money with our vendor. Brides who have ordered from other places tell me their proof arrived in perfect or near-perfect form. So I posted casually (it's a message board!) using words like "crappy" and "shady." Adequate words of that sort. She treated the post like it was written in the Tribune and started quoting it as slander. Ummm? Just when you thing the Web is safe kids, some friend or favorite customer of the person you wrote about lets them know and makes your life hell. Over wedding invitations. I stand by my "shady" comment.

If you're a bride-to-be now or in the future, don't post anything on those boards unless it's totally neutral. Apparently, it's not actually an anonymous community. For a lot of local and small vendors, it's a serious marketing tool. They'll track you down...

But There Can Only Be One Flower Girl

Kids crack us up constantly. Especially when we have conversations with them. Clearly, we don't get to interact with children enough these days to be past that point where it's funny every time...

We got unexpected reactions from the kids in our wedding party when we did the official asking over the summer.

We asked Gavin’s cousins of some sort (twice removed? thrice?), Sophie (6) and Maddie (8), to be our flower girls during a family party. Of course, we asked their mother first. She was really excited and told us that they were going to LOVE this. She grabbed the video camera and we went outside to find the girls.

We asked Maddie and Sophie if they knew what a flower girl is. They said they did thanks to a book their mom had read them recently.

We asked if they would want to be flower girls in our wedding.

Maddie jumped up and down and yelled “YEAH!!” with a huge smile on her face.

Sophie, ever the observant, precocious little spud, didn’t answer. “Sophie, do you think that would be fun?” She looked around everywhere but at people and in the quietest, mumbliest way you can imagine informed us:

“But there can only be one flower girl. Maddie can be your flower girl.”

We explained that there would be two ring bearers, so it would be ok to have two flower girls. I also threw in that being a flower girl meant pretty dresses.

More mumbling. Then she ran away to continue the game we had interrupted.

The reaction was hysterical and totally unexpected. She protected her idea that there should only be one flower girl like Milton protected his red Swingline stapler in Office Space. The girls’ mom accepted for her and has since taken the girls out to try on dresses, which Maddie was dying to do. Unfortunately, things got busy for everyone this fall and we haven’t seen either of the girls since we asked them! We’re going to pick out dresses after the holidays when life quiets down.

Similarly, we won’t get to see our ring bearers, my cousin Karen’s kids who I get such a kick out of because they talk like adults, until the wedding weekend since they live in New York and are spending the holidays with their dad’s family this year. Marc (6) and Dean (4) had a similar reaction when Karen explained that they were going to be ring bearers again while I was on the phone with her.

“Marc, you’re going to be a ring bearer again.”

“No I’m not.”

“Sure you are.”

Should Gavin and I be concerned that these kiddos aren’t too into this?

Dean and Marc were ring bearers in their uncle’s wedding last summer with another boy. Dean carried the rings, and Marc was told he was the bodyguard. We hear no one was getting near Dean while he had those rings unless they wanted to risk their lives, or ankles.

Nuestra Luna de Miel Mexicana

After mulling over honeymoon possibilities, we settled on a compromise between Gavin wanting a beach to lounge on and me needing to move around and see/do things during vacation. We had also agreed that archeological ruins and Latin America would be neat-o.

We considered Brazil or Chile, Spain, climbing Machu Picchu, but knew we weren’t going to have time to plan and prep for those types of trips while planning a wedding. Also, you can no longer walk around in and climb Machu Picchu’s ruins. We aren’t willing to trek up a mountain overnight just to look for the honeymoon. Some other trip…

We arrived on one surprising destination we had never heard of after Gavin visited a travel agency in Glen Ellyn for ideas.

The Riviera Maya.

Mexico’s Mayan Riviera is a blending of dream trips for us – Mayan ruins, world-class snorkeling and diving, jungle exploration treks, all-inclusive packages and beaches. The Riviera Maya is on the Yucatan Peninsula between Cancun, Cozumel and Playa del Carmen. The only downside is that it’s in Mexico! Not exactly exotic, but perfect on paper.

We are staying half the time at the Aventura Spa Palace because of its proximity to absolutely everything – eco-parks, ferries to Cozumel, day trips, you name it. The resort has a lagoon instead of a natural beach due to crazy big waves at this point on the strip. We aren’t planning to spend too much time at the resort while we staying at this one however, so the absence of beach may not be noticed too much.

For the other half of the honeymoon, we are staying at Tulum Dreams. This one puts us just a five-minute bike ride away from Tulum. Not familiar? Tulum is the ancient ruins site with buildings white-washed from sea salt that sit on the cliff over a perfectly blue ocean that you see in the plethora of travel ads suddenly circulating for the Mayan Riviera. Absolutely beautiful. The beaches are supposed to be fantastic. This second resort will satisfy our young fogey selves. We were embarrassingly excited about bikes, bocce courts, dance lessons and archery. We might have to battle the older crowd for a spot on the shuffle board courts. Don’t judge us.

Unfortunately, all-inclusive resorts come at a premium. Apparently any trip that doesn’t involve all of your belongings on your back and sleeping in youth hostels while eating two meals a day adds up. Our trip will last 10 days so that we can afford housing when we return!

Oddly, the end of the fiesta coincides with Relays weekend at Drake, which I’m supposed to make an appearance at for a meeting. We were going to skip it and extend the trip before we saw the price tag. Instead, after hanging out and relaxing in Mexico, we’ll head out to Des Moines to see everyone there and enjoy the Relays revelry. We’re still considering it our honeymoon.

A honeymoon in Iowa? Now THAT’S unique!

Invitation Placation

The invite saga started months ago with Gavin wanting to punt paper, but this story is far from over. The timeline for invitations was quickly disappearing, so I hit the stores sans man fiancé looking for invite supplies that would adequately fulfill my paper and printing cravings.

You might remember that, originally, Jess was going to design our invitations. After not finding paper that was good quality and could be layered or was already embossed, I figured good ol’ Paper Source would be the place for this project, I headed there with my parents and got so frustrated I had to leave the store to prevent a tantrum. Yep, I’ll admit it. I had spent so much time and so little – nothing! I couldn’t find paper that would communicate the type of wedding we’re planning when guests open the envelope, even with Jess’ mad desktop design skillz at play.

SO, I started looking through catalogs of invites in stationary stores like Papyrus. There were plenty I loved, but that didn’t mean I could validate their price tags.

In the middle of the process, Gavin and I had to go to a wedding show to pick our DJ (the actual DJ, we already had the company). While there, we spotted a table for A woman named Gina who makes invites out of her home with the usual invite companies. The price is still steep since everything costs extra, including ink. She does really nice work based on her samples and customizes any way you’d like. We made an appointment that week.

My Mom and I headed to Gina’s house, where she works, to view her collection the next weekend. Surprisingly, we agreed on an invite that worked for both of us. I wanted totally traditional, but this one grabbed our attention. A little unconventional, but luxe and sophisticated when it comes out of the envelope.

I'm still bummed that Jess didn’t get to design the invites since I loved the save the date cards. She did help us out by doing our map card for us, however. We didn’t want a plain Jane text block, we wanted a map! It’s really cute.

We haven’t gotten our proof yet (a little worried about that…), but I can’t wait to see it!

Hot Mammas

The mothers and I had a great time dress shopping for their wedding attire a couple weeks ago. We hopped in the car and headed out to adorable Geneva to a shop called the East Room that Gavin’s Mom knew about.

The shop is almost entirely devoted to mother-of-the-bride (MOB) types of dresses, but thankfully included a variety of styles beyond the typical matronly cut that designers seem to think mothers like to wear. (Seriously, finding a flattering MOB dress is not easy!)

We pawed through the racks picking out favorites for them both. Sparkles, lace, jackets and necklines were everywhere!

As they started to model dresses one after the other, I realized something that our moms don’t show off too often – they’re hot mommas!

We knew they were cute and looked too young for their respective ages, but I couldn’t help telling Gavin how fantastic they looked in absolutely everything they tried on, even the ones we all liked least. They were trying on sizes two sizes smaller than what they usually wear when dresses weren’t available in their size and STILL looked good.

Unlike me, they both bought dresses that day that will be gorgeous in the pictures and look good with the overall feel of the wedding. My Mom had a little buyer’s remorse after we left and returned the next day to get something she felt was a little more her style. I absolutely love the one she ended up with – exactly what I pictured for her!

After leaving the shop, we headed to a local restaurant recommended by the women at the East Room for a late lunch and chatted about wedding plans and whatever else struck our fancy. It was fun afternoon of girl bonding and one more thing off the countdown checklist.