Going to the Chapel

The engagement of Laura and Gavin... and then some.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

A Shameless Plug

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Who knows, you might find a really hilarious wedding favor you'd like to request for the wedding or a place to start your own rival blog to steal our thunder. (Disclaimer: You can't steal our thunder. Especially not after Gavin's highly informed "Gavra" post from this weekend.)

Monday, March 27, 2006

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Not so fast with the pens and the Day Planners. Arrowhead now has something on April 14, 2007. Of course. Why wouldn't they?

We're working on it, as always. There's a small window of possibility that something will still work out on that date, but it's small and involves an anniversary banquet moving its date...

Sunday, March 26, 2006

And the Groom Speaks...

Hello there faithful readers and blogging neophites. If you're new to this blog, you might think it's a cute wedding blog with bride and groom exchanging humorous anecdotes for all to read. But if you were to scroll down this page and previous pages you will find that you have happened upon this blog at the most opportune of times. At this very moment, the groom is slowly hatching from his shell and may type his very first words in a formal post to the blog. He may appear slightly disoriented in his new environs but with a little encouragement (i.e. some comments from the few males who read this blog) he might soon grow to be a strapping young groom, eager to share all of his experiences in the frightening world of wedding planning.

And with that request, I take my first steps in to the blogosphere. I am the Gav part of the creature that is Gavra. My better half is the Ra part. She has the much cooler half because it's named after an ancient Egyptian sun god. Actually, I had wanted to write about this error in one of Laura's previous posts. It dates back to the creation of Gavra. No one has given Kyle enough credit for his obviously well researched and carefully crafted moniker. His creation closely parallels the decision-making of the ancient Egyptian High Priests. In ancient times, these priests decided that it was for the best of their people to develop a composite name for their great gods in order to avoid slighting either of the cult followings that declared their faith to Ra and Amon. Thus the birth of Amon-Ra, King of Netjeru. This god, was believed to be the sun god and the lord of the universe. The other main god was Osiris, who was the god of the underworld and made a peaceful afterlife possible.

It is apparent that Kyle felt that if our group of friends had to pick between the two of us, it could've led to a frightening civil war (i.e. pillow fight in his back room) which only would have excited his dog Gwen to bark and pee uncontrollably. He is truly a wise man. I wouldn't say our union is up there quite on the level with the sun or the universe, but it's still pretty cool. Now if only we had another couple, possibly more sinister, whose names combined could form Osiris. Ah but wait we know of a couple in a far off land know as Katris. They share their homeland with a great army of terracotta soldiers who were meant to protect their emperor in the afterlife. Hmmm, a haunting coincidence.

Next post... I will attempt to tackle the hilarity that was the Bridal Show or should I say the Haunted House of Wayne Newton.

Keeping the Faith

Remember that movie with Ed Norton and Ben Stiller? The hip priest and rabbi? We met the closest equivalent to Norton's character possible this weekend.

We went to St. Pet’s to check out the church after calling the priest Saturday morning to see if we could cross over to their parish for a Memorial Day wedding. Not realizing our timing coincided with 5 p.m. mass, we decided to stay and see what church was like there. Father Dan Bachner said mass.

It turns out that Father Dan is the priest I spoke with on the phone that morning, and also the priest my family saw say his first mass at St. James a couple months ago. He’s awesome. Coincidence? Ok, yeah. Fine. But it's a cool coincidence.

In comparison with the options in the modern Catholic church, this guy blows me away. After his homily, Gavin even leaned over and said “he’s good.”

He delivered a memorable homily (that I won’t go into here) that was interactive. He asked a question aloud during his talk, and someone answered it. I was in shock – someone just spoke during church and it WASN’T the priest!!! Apparently, that’s normal in his masses. We like it. People were engaged, alert and actually into the mass. St. James just doesn’t have that feel.

We’re wondering if Father Norton, I mean… Father Dan might be able to cross back over to St. James to serve as the concelebrant for our wedding mass with Uncle Augie. Probably not, but it would be cool.


Note: If you’re not familiar with Edward Norton – the hottest blond on the big screen – you’re missing out.

Drum Roll Please

April 14, 2007.

After we make some calls, double check some dates and fork over a lot of money, it’s a final decision that April 14, 2007, is the day we become Mr. and Mrs. Or just that I become “Mrs.” since boys don’t change their status…

“What happened to the two holiday weekends you were talking about?” you ask. We came to our senses.

Memorial Day weekend would be the ideal weekend to get married – had we started our planning one year ago. Apparently, everyone else who got engaged over the past couple months had the same idea to pick the weekend easiest for everyone else. Although we still have the reception site under our name for that day and the awesome priest at St. Pet’s is checking to see if he can make an exception for us, we realize that every other element of the wedding is going to be just as hard to coordinate and get our favorite vendor or location or small details. Someone will have already booked for the same day every step along the way. (Jess, don't freak out, you're already WAY ahead of the game!)

President’s Day weekend 2007 has gotten scarily close as the weeks tick on, and the weather is guaranteed to be gross.

I spent today annoying my parents and Gavin with a chart (yes, this is true) of pros and cons of each date. April 14 had the least in each column, and therefore just seemed to be the easiest. April 14. It’s the weekend after Easter next year. It is now the perfect day for a wedding:

  • PRO: Being the weekend after Easter, the St. James’ alter will be filled with flowers. You can’t decorate the alter for your wedding at St. James. It’s like we’re tricking them AND they’re paying for it. Brilliant.
  • PRO/CON: The weather is a toss up. Possible spring showers. Maybe a sunny spring day (like today!). It’s too early for tornados – a definite plus. It’s not too late for a blizzard. Chicago weather is sneaky.
  • CON: It may be harder for people to travel since it’s the weekend after Easter.
  • PRO: Daylight Savings time will have come and gone, giving us an extra hour of light to enjoy Arrowhead’s view that will be turning green by then.
  • CON: We can’t get any discounts... except for those free church flowers.
  • PRO: I can do the color scheme I have in mind!
  • CON/PRO: It’s close to Gavin’s birthday (April 23 – his golden bday is this year!), but he sees it as a way to get a vacation on his birthday next year. Sweet.
  • PRO: Given how people feel every time we have a warm day at this time of year, it’s an upbeat season in Chicago. Everyone is in a good mood overall because we’re finally breaking out of winter.
  • PRO: It suddenly sounds a lot like a wedding date…

Picture Perfect

I spent another couple hours checking out wedding photographers this weekend. There are so many different styles, price ranges and options to consider to make sure your day looks just as you remember it after the fact on Kodak-quality paper. I have some definite favorites at this point that need to be narrowed to a much smaller list with Gavin’s help.

While looking through album after album at people’s weddings that took place on all days of the year and in all environments, I realized that so many of the things we’ve been stressing over (and over, and over) don’t matter. I know we’re going to have a fun wedding regardless of when it takes place, but we wanted to make it equally as fun and easy for our guests. It also realized, however, that no matter when we schedule the wedding, our families and closest friends will be there. They wouldn’t miss it for the world. Just like any wedding, it’s a major event for those close to the couple no matter when it happens. I can’t get June 10, Melissa’s date, out of my head. It’s a regular, two-day weekend, and yet my Mom and I talk about nothing else besides my wedding lately because we’re so excited for her.

I also realized that Murf and Dan are right, if you have a good photographer it doesn’t matter where you take pictures. The most important thing is that the moments, emotions and people are recorded there.

A photographer at the wedding show last week put it best when he told us how he tries to put a book together. He quoted a woman who requested on her wedding day: “When my children look at my wedding album, I want them to feel like they were there.” That’s all anyone could ask for.

Friday, March 24, 2006

The Wedding Expo

We went to a wedding show at Drury Lane on Wednesday night as a test run for the bigger, much crazier Bridal Expo next weekend (yes, the famed Bridal Expo from your Chicagoland radio station!). Badly needing R&R and a good laugh after a rough start to the week, we thought we’d just check this one out so we know what to expect.

Words that come to mind when we think back on the experience: Ambush. Awkward. Cheesy. Pushy. Hilarious.

We got our laughs and distraction from our regularly scheduled lives no problem.

The show was set up like a scavenger hunt through a maze of salespeople from their respective vendors. Salespeople literally jumped into our path so we could not skip their booth and they could bug us into giving them our contact information… so they can bug us some more until we’re married. (I had this vision of Harry Potter in the Tri-Wizard Tournament maze – no idea who would attack next. This maze had a lot of pink in it though. Not so ominous.) We assumed this would be like a college fair, where representatives are civilized and you visit the stations you’re interested in. Never assume – a popular theme this week…

My marketing background taught me what happens when you give your info out at an event like this. We have a lot of junk mail coming this week.

The maze's highlights:

  • A Chris-Farley-esque DJ sweated through his sales pitch to us, finally offering us money off if we’d just book him and say we talked to him at the show.
  • We have a half-hour of free dance lessons – in Lake in the Hills, Illinois.
  • Gavin got into the spirit (and laughed at my facial reaction) when he accepted the Linens n’ Things lady’s quest to make us sign up for a registry on the spot. We now have a random registry of about five items – I don’t even know what he marked down, but I think a chair with “Delux” in the name is on there. We didn’t even get any cool free stuff from that table!
  • Ellen from Arrowhead was there – and remembered us! She’s either really good at her job, or we’ve been to her office too many times.
  • Edward Fox’s head photographer tried to win us over by complementing me – a lot. It was sweet at first when he said I was going to be a beautiful bride, but when he continued to tell me how amazing my hair was going to look “that day,” etc. at inopportune times, it creeped me out.
  • A lot of very nice photographers with not-so-nice work tried to make us contract them on the spot.
  • We escaped the pink boas from the “Last Night Out” party planning booth.
The maze ended at a stage for a fashion show by House of Brides. We figured we’d watch a couple minutes of the show once it started, see if we won anything (TONS of giveaways), and then leave. When we had collapsed into seats and gotten comfortable, we started to look at our surroundings. We quickly realized there was no way out of the fashion show – except walking back through the maze. We had a simultaneous “oh my God” moment.

We bolted.

We scurried back through the wedding maze avoiding all eye contact and doing a horrible job pretending to have a really engaging, lively conversation that required our full attention. We couldn’t help cracking up as vendors literally shouted to try and catch our attention the whole way through.

We’re ready for next weekend, although Gavin tried to “lose” his ticket for the next show on the train this morning! Hmmm…

Sunday, March 19, 2006

The Barter System is Alive and Well in Wheaton

Gavin and I revisited Arrowhead yesterday to get the skinny on what exactly is included in their price and how flexible it is. Good move.

Although it has been the clear favorite since we toured the facility last week, it didn’t seem feasible based on the information we had, or rather did not have. It sounded as though nothing but the basics were included in the price, unlike other possible venues. Also, because the chef is new, they had nothing concrete to share about what could be included in the price. After yesterday’s meeting, they’re back in the realistic running and probably going to be “the place.”

Ellen, their unbelievably nice banquet manager/wedding coordinator extraordinaire, walked us through the exact breakdown of the price, down to how much wine costs and when you get a good deal on it. She explained how we can get the best value for what we want and that, like all other places in DuPage county, discounts are available in the off-season and on Sundays. Of course, our desired holiday weekend doesn’t apply for the discount.

SO, being myself and forever bending the rules, I proposed a proposition of seemingly preposterous dimensions.

I asked Ellen how they are promoting this new, beautiful facility to the community to let everyone know that a) they’re open to the public this spring and b) it’s unlike anything available in the western suburbs. She replied that right now, they’re in a period of transition and have no one doing communications for the park district’s facilities at this time.

Because we had discussed it between ourselves and with my parents beforehand, Gavin knew what was coming next. He lowered his head and looked busy with his notes while I dove in. I can’t imagine what he was thinking.

I proposed that I help them with the public relations and marketing surrounding the opening of the facility this spring in exchange for a discount on our wedding.

Who does that?!

I was sure she would laugh at me and bar us from having a wedding there on account of the bride being nuts. That’s not what happened.

She lit up and said that, as a park district, they LOVE to barter because they can’t exchange money for services like that. She must have said they love to barter several times, and made it clear that it is a real possibility.

Unfortunately, with the new facility comes a new hierarchy. Previously, Ellen would have made the final call on such decisions, but now it has to pass through the banquet boss (I don’t know the real title) and the board.

SO, the current wedding project is putting together a proposal for the board to explain what services I can offer for how long and how much it’s worth monetarily, aka how much of a discount we’re asking for. I also have to explain the monetary benefit they’re going to get if I do a good job, which is way more than the cost of a wedding, but the bane of the public relations industry is that no one gets that until after the fact so this isn’t going to get me a free wedding. (Shucks.)

The moral of the story: It never hurts to ask.

Also:

Laura just won’t give up when she wants something… Good thing Gavin knows that already and has (somehow!) figured out how to get around it – occasionally.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Connect Four

We have the ideal main elements in our head of when, where and how we want our wedding to be, as well as who we want to be there. There four main elements to decide on in wedding planning. These details aren’t fitting together very well.


We have a favorite date.
Our two favorite reception halls are available on that date.
The church is not.

We have a favorite reception site.
It’s available on our favorite date, and every other date we have considered.
That spot is the most expensive and includes the least.

We have the church.
The church’s availability is wide open in 2007.
The church won’t marry us on a Sunday and the affordable reception hall isn’t available on a Saturday. (We’re working on this one. Gavin’s Dad “knows a guy” for every situation!)

We have a preliminary guest list.
It includes all of our favorite people and is going to make for one kick-butt, perfect celebration.
If it grows anymore, we’re going to have to start expanding the search for reception halls… and cash. There are definitely people we still want to add.


I was never a Connect Four champ. We never even owned the game when I was little. I plan to become a Connect Four master by the end of next week.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

A Picture is Worth 1,000…

a) Words
b) Dollars
c) Wedding invitations

Most wedding publications tell you not to do a thing until you prioritize what is most important to you for your wedding so that you know where to skimp and where to splurge.

Gavin and I considered this advice in a semi-serious conversation on the train last week. His priority is grooms cake now that he knows they actually exist. So, that meant that I set the priorities and he agreed. For us, photography is numero uno. Even if we get married in flip-flops and jeans, we want every moment documented in a way that means we don’t have to even think about putting ourselves behind a camera that day, but know we’ll have good pictures to remember the wedding by.

Good photography is also important so that in 60 years we can assure our grandkids that the wrinkled, crotchety geezers before them were “handsome” and “beautiful” “back in the day.”

Our friends Hans and Maggie get married this fall, meaning they have already gone through sticker shock and have their major items in order. Their top priority was also photography, and I know they have good taste because of Maggie’s design career and Hans’ ability to think through the details since the day I met him.

Maggie sent us all of their spreadsheets from their research on photographers when I asked about what they cost for a good one. She viewed at least 100 sits to pick the few they met with, and then selected their favorite from there. Maggie is an angel. The angel of wedding spreadsheets and photographers. What she sent is going to save us a LOT of time over the next couple months.

Not able to resist, I started looking through the sites of some of the photographers on their list even though it’s premature. I was blown away by the talent and how amazingly well the photojournalistic style that has become so popular in wedding photography is able to catch emotions and moments more than any posed portrait could. I’m already excited to see our photographs, yet I have no idea how they’ll look since we haven’t figured out anything but the priest yet. It’s going to be a hard decision when we get to the point when we’re ready to choose a photographer, but I can’t wait to pick one all the same.

As with everything thus far, however, I was also blown away by the price tag on my favorites from their small batch. I should study to become a wedding photographer for sure. Photography, travel, weddings and a fatty paycheck as a job? Yes please.

If I had a Million Dollars

Not only would I sing the Barenaked Ladies song in my head on a continuous loop 24/7, but I could stop stressing about this wedding as I have been for the last week now.

Out of morbid need for reality, I did a lot of research last weekend to find out how much the elements of a wedding cost. Every little detail that goes into a traditional wedding costs about twice what we thought it would, except for the wedding gown and tux. We knew about those.

Remember that $22,000 number? We get it now.

In Chicago, not hitting that number as a grand total by the time you’re back from the honeymoon, ordered wedding pictures and send out thank you notes is a major accomplishment.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Now All We Need is the Church!

My Great Uncle Augie, who is a priest, sent my family a note today and tacked on the end that he would be "proud and happy" to marry Gavin and I. Yay!

He's fantastic. By far the funniest, most personable priest I have ever met, and yet at the same time he's incredibly spiritual and open minded. He quotes and pulls ideas from all religions to apply into Christianity and worship. And he's Catholic! Who knew they could be this way? Fortunately, I've known since I was little.

Now we just have to set and send him the date and get him here that day. He's stationed in East St. Louis, Illinois and will be 83 next year!

Set the Date

Just as we’re zeroing in on sites for our wedding day, two possibilities for dates are becoming a reality.

How do President’s Day or Memorial Day weekend look for everyone? Good? Good. That’s what we hoped.

The ideal date is May 27, 2007 – the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. Look at how pretty it looks. Now imagine it in script. oooOOoh. Now there will be a rush of people getting engaged just so they too can use that gorgeous date.

We hope to have a date finalized and the wheels in motion within the next week or two. I’m getting really excited, but will be even more so when the contracts are signed!

And the Finalists Are…

The long day of revisiting reception sites has come and gone. We learned a lot, saw a lot and heard a lot about wedding packages and crazy wedding stories from those who have been planning people’s big days for many, many years. An example? When asked how big our wedding party might be, our guess was “big.” One woman replied that she once worked with a couple who’s wedding party was 35 people strong. Must have been a huge honor to be included…

Gavin and I loaded up the blue Focus with my Mom and Dad and headed out to run the reception site gamut up and down Butterfield. Gav’s Mom met us later for the last two.


Visiting sites a second time was a smart idea. At second blush, we really didn’t like some of the ones we thought were going to be favorites, and loved those that were at the bottom of the list when we started.

Arrowhead in Wheaton is the favorite by far. The location is convenient and private, the ambiance is simple but impressive (European plush) and the view is unique and pretty.

The problem is that our winner is also the most expensive site by far. Nothing can be easy, it seems! This is the only site that offers no discounts and doesn’t include much outside food and booze. They do, however, have all of our preferred dates available and we’re penciled in for two of those. They’re ours for the taking if we win the Lotto. (Which my parents kind of did last week when we found out my little brother, Mark, won full tuition to Drake!!! Congratulate the little stud when you can.)

The second choice in terms of the inside, but not the location, is The Abbington. The inside has beautiful chandeliers, non-Holiday Inn-esque carpeting (hard to come by!) and neutral settings.

The Abbington, however, is in the parking lot of the local Wal-Mart and McDonald’s and was also the site of our high school varsity sports banquets. Our friends like to make fun of it. Wait until you all get married and find out how cheap it is for what you’re getting.

I digress.

To combat the expense of Arrowhead and the bankruptcy of my parents, I have devised a plan for Arrowhead. A proposal, if you will.

After trying to reason with the resident event planner, Ellen (who was also our favorite planner of the whole day), that they’re charging $30 more per plate for no extra service just because this event is called a wedding, I will launch into my marketing savvy and do an impromptu pitch if needed. A discount for a couple months of free public relations while they are opening their beautiful new facility that no one knows about. Plus, I can offer her lots of young local guests at her venue that evening who are not yet married and will be looking for lovely sites soon enough. How can she resist!? They should be paying us to have our wedding there!

:: arms crossed, nose in the air ::

Since that’s unheard of unless I sell sponsorship of our wedding on eBay, I welcome any suggestions about what a wedding planner at a new venue needs to hear to get her to want to make us the exception and give us a discount.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Ask and Ye Might Receive

I’ve caught on. Wedding planners and overpriced package sellers everywhere beware. Anything is possible for a wedding if you just ask… nicely.

Concerned about all of the food allergies in my family, I pondered getting food from a time-tested “safe” restaurant where we know we can all eat just about anything from the menu thanks to fresh ingredients and no crazy additives. Trying to think of where the food is good enough and can be dressed up enough to serve at a wedding, I realized it could be so simple! Romano's Macaroni Grill – my favorite restaurant.

It sounds like a mac n’ cheese joint, but Macaroni Grill is a bona fide Italian restaurant serving an array of tasty pasta, chicken, pesce (fish) and veal in Tuscan style complete with Tuscan style bread and Teach Yourself Italian tapes playing in the bathrooms. Not to mention the melt-in-your-mouth flourless chocolate cake. I love it.

I called today, told them we love their food (Gavin doesn’t dislike it, so that counts?) and would be so excited if we could work something out to have it served at our wedding. The woman’s reaction was “awww.” Not a tense bargaining tone in response, but a genuine “weddings are good” tone. Clearly, they’re not a wedding vendor since they also don’t have a special menu of special wedding prices for the bride’s special parents.

Even if this doesn’t pan out, I love them even more for it.

The manager, Stacy (in case her boss should find this… it’s always a smaller world than I think), is talking to her bosses and getting back to me about the possibility, and then a contract to make sure we still have food should management change in the next year.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Whirlwind Wedding Tour Ahead

We have a long day of reception site visits ahead of us on Saturday. Because of the way the sites were able to schedule us, we have appointments at five places stretched from 11 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. To put it in perspective, this will probably be the last time we have to visit so many reception halls since we hope to nail down a date and location this week.

Mom and Pop Micheli will be taking the tour de wedding with Gavin and I, and Gavin’s Mom may be able to join us for part of it.

Wish us luck!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Organization to the Max.

A spreadsheet comparing the way-to-many aspects, inclusions, extras and prices of each reception site has been created so that we can fill it in during our rendezvous with all five venues this Saturday. It sounds freakish, but we needed it to organize our thoughts and really compare the places.

Gavin is drafting the budget across all contributing parties so that he and I can figure out what we need to pony up for and how much.

In looking for caterers for the one venue that doesn’t provide food, I found a cool caterer. These people construct some of the most elaborate food structures I have ever seen. They also make an event at “just a venue” seem possible.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Post-it.

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Saturday, March 04, 2006

Break on through.

Today was a huge day in the world of wedding. A jam-packed day of visits, we met with Deacon John at St. James and were approved to be married in the Catholic church. We also narrowed down our list of reception choices to a significantly smaller, but still significant, number.

The meeting at St. James was surprisingly painless. Almost fun. Deacon John met with us at 9 a.m. in the rectory to interview us for candidacy. Side note on the deacon: He looks like Friar Tuck and is just as pleasant and merry. Funny, because when I told Gavin we had an appointment with Deacon John, Gavin responded that he had been hoping for Friar Tuck.

Deacon John collected our basic info and asked about our religious practices. Then the deacon interviewed us each individually, asking some strange, but, he apologized, required, questions. We did a good job, apparently, so he called us back into the room together and went over all of the next steps. Not bad! Not as fun as The Newlywed Game, where we would have won a prize for the same, right answers, but better than what we pictured. The night before – last night - we had steeled ourselves for all sorts of wack-job, awkward questions to make sure we wouldn’t be rejected by THE church. (That’s right, the Pope rules.)

We now have to collect a little more information, sign up for one of many couple’s retreats and be paired with a married parish couple for a quiz (it sounds almost like something in Cosmo, but will undoubtedly include the words “Jesus” and “spirituality” much more often, and words like “hot sex” much less.)

The other big follow up is to schedule a date. It turns out St. James’s only does about 20 weddings a year (because it’s ugly?), so the pickings are all ours outside of Lent – which means March is out. We’ll deal.

Easy as pie.

We then ran the gamut of possibilities for our reception site from Winfield to Oak Brook to narrow the field. We realized that every option we’re considering is on or off of Butterfield Road. Easy enough! Down to five finalists, our list is very appealing and I’m getting excited about the possibilities. From west to east, they are:

The Carlisle could be the dark horse if they ever respond to my query for menus, but probably not. Seven Bridges wasn’t bad either, but isn’t as convenient for guests.

Now we just need to cross our fingers and say a little prayer to the saints of availability and reasonable prices.

The Office just gets it.

I was watching The Office on Thursday, a rareity since FOX's programming of choice was way off base. (Skating With the Stars? Seriously?) I'm glad I had the chance to catch The Office however, because not only is it way funnier than The OC, but I was actually able to relate to it.

The most applicable character right now is, by far, the receptionist who is planning her wedding at work. She's clearly embarassed about it, but has no choice. I understand.

Trying to plan a wedding while working in an "open" office environment (read: no cubicles, walls, private spaces or privacy to speak of) makes trying to even set up appointments so that you can actually plan your wedding incredibly difficult. I end up sitting in the dusty stairway making calls and feeling guilty that I'm even doing that. Thank God for e-mail and cell phones!

The irony is that I would bet 90 percent of brides-to-be go through the same thing because wedding planners and those associated with reception halls, churches, boutiques and other necessary vendors also work roughly 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. jobs. People who work off hours tend to crotchety, however, and nobody wants a grumpy person involved in their wedding plans.

Anyone in this situation should watch The Office for some relevant hilarity on a Thursday night. Actually... anyone should watch The Office. Period.

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Thursday, March 02, 2006

Gavra

When I used the nifty Google blog search tool to see if we popped up when searching for "Gavra," I found this. Shweet.

The admittedly stupid Gavra moniker goes back to Kyle in early college. We showed up at his house for a routine "let's go to Kyle's" get together and he greeted us with, "Look, Gavra is here!" I hated it instantly and made it obvious. (I have a black belt in eye daggers.) Clearly, he was jealous that he couldn't spend so much time with two people as awesome as us. Or he was sad that our late arrival had made his get-together much less cool until we showed up. Since we control the content of this blog, those statements will stand.

Kyle had no idea how ahead of the times he was when he first blurted out the word that sounds like a love monster. He couldn't have known that all the cool couples would soon follow suit - Brangelina, Benifer, etc. - making Gavin and me the first in a line of trends. (Disclaimer: I hate(d) both of those couples. I just couldn't think of a better one and don't feel like checking Gawker for a better idea.)

Anyhow, Gavin gets all credit for the URL. I think it's hilarious, although I still hate the word.

Nobody Said it Was Easy

It seems that St. James, the part of the wedding that I thought would be easiest, is going to be the biggest challenge to us setting a date. Each contact with the church makes me more skeptical.

I called the rectory office very soon after we got engaged to request an appointment with our pastor so that we could select a date and go over the many Catholic "ground rules" for marriages. I received a return call saying I should pick up the brochure in the back of the church, and then call if I had more questions. Perhaps there is a way to get an appointment with the priest in the brochure? Maybe it's better constructed than the church's Web site and will answer all of my questions.

Nope.

Gavin picked it up today and said it isn't very useful. The one piece of information that did catch my attention, however, is that the church claims it will only allow services on Saturdays. I say claims because I'm going to fight this tooth and nail if I have to. Why? Another list to explain:
  • Saturday is, without question, the most expensive day to get married. I'm not sure we would be able to actually have a reception if it were on a Saturday due to money.
  • My great-Uncle Augie is a priest and a very cool, open minded man. We want him to do our ceremony, so poo poo to the church saying only on Saturday because there is only one priest.
  • We haven't really talked about any Saturdays as a potential date, although we're still flexible.
  • Because I have gone to this church since I was two and my family has put in a LOT of volunteer time there between the various ministries. I would hope they can be flexible.
  • The church, which was rebuilt a couple years ago, is ugly as sin. No inspirations of purity here. It looks like a warehouse except for the pretty cool stained glass way off to the side in only one corner of the entire church.

So, I need to make the exact same phone call we started with one week ago again to again try to set up an appointment, look at a calendar, and now convince them to be flexible on the day of the week that we can use the church. Given that we're in the Lenten season, I'll keep my choice words about the situation to myself.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Shopping for Sites

When we first got engaged, and even before then, I didn’t think there were any pretty or cool places in the suburbs worthy of a reception. I pictured a reception downtown on my beloved lakefront with a stunning view of the city. Reality hit hard when I realized that not only would a reception in the city be impractical, but it would be damn pricey. My rational side overpowering the “I love sparkly things” side:

  • We are, in all likelihood, going to be getting married at good ol’ St. James in Glen Ellyn.
  • The city is 30 miles and a bunch of highways and scary merges away, thus probably preventing our out-of-towners from ever finding a city reception site in time for cake.
  • Guests would have to pay for parking.
  • We would have to pay for a premiere reception site in the city, which costs a lot more than I ever thought it could despite my event planning experience. Clearly, a disconnect in my common sense.
  • On top on the cost of the reception site, food and booze, etc., we would be taxed at the city’s rate, rather than good ol’ DuPage County’s rate.

So, I’ve made peace with the fact that I grew up in the burbs despite my love of Chicago proper, it’s just easier on all accounts if we get hitched where we are.

With that, I am now (probably) driving Gavin nuts by dragging him to seven-plus reception sites to make sure we find the “right” one. Last weekend, we took a grand tour of three sites with detours to one or two along our route – a total of five so far. We already have two lined up for this weekend, and I’m far from done!

Surprisingly, these sites are still extremely expensive, and they offer few ways to cut costs. We’ve starting seriously considering discounts for different days of the week and different seasons in the year to avoid cutting any part of our guest list.

We’re on the prowl for pretty. Suggestions welcome.